2021, in the lock-down period I am more online than before. And I am intrigued by comparison on the Internet versus smaller communities.
Suppose you live in a village, and you own an old piano. You teach yourself to play the piano; there is also someone with a guitar. You play together, people around you like it. And you think, wow - I can do this.
I'm good.
And then you go on the internet.
And then you see on youtube all kinds of young virtuosos who are much more talented than you. They are so many times better than you. And then you lose your motivation. You are nowhere near as talented, the piano playing you do is downright bad compared to all those others in the big world.
‘You should not compare yourself with others.’
I don't know how it is with you, but I don't do anything else as artist but to compare myself to others. And I want to improve, become the best.
I want to be the best!
Is there something wrong with that mindset?
I read about a boy from the last century who wanted to become the best in Mathematics. As a flat mate, he had a fellow student who was better than him. He could not have that. He discontinued his studies.
The housemate won prize after prize; he was the best in his year.
And the boy who quit Mathematics later won the Nobel Prize in Economics.
So he was right.
He could not become the best in Mathematics, he became the best in another field. That had to do with talent and, of course, his basic attitude. No doubt there were people around him, telling him that he was quite talented in Mathematics, that he should not give up - that he was good too. That he should not compare himself.
We are constantly comparing. We want to be good.
That comparing, is a strong characteristic of us as social animals. We measure ourselves; we are hierarchical. We have to compare ourselves to others, that is originally where we came from. The awareness of that comparing, and your basic attitude knowing it is in our evolution embedded is important to know.
All-important even I would say.
There was a band a few years ago on the Remigiusplein in Duiven.
Of all places.
They were enthusiastic. They actually sang quite out of tune; all sorts of things went technically wrong.
And they were having fun with it, saying to the crowd gathered on the terraces:
‘The more you drink, the better we sound.’
So beautifully fitting for what they stand for. They created fun, that people feel like having a terrace and a drink. That's what they were paid for by the terrace owner. That was in line for the audience in the village.
And a bad piano player would have fit right in with that.
If his ego didn't get in the way.
And he had not labelled himself as ‘bad’.
If he participated - then of course he was not a bad pianist at all, he was beautifully fitting. And he had meaning for others, in that moment - everything then came together in the right context.
When you compare yourself to others - you are in relation to others - and that's good to think about for a moment. Because when the world is so big, and your mindset is all-important, you don't compare yourself to others for your own ego.
Questions like ‘Am I good?’ or ‘Am I bad? - swap them for ‘Can I mean something to others?’
And then create an appropriate context.